In my experience as a Couples and Family therapist, most couples problems result from emotional distance and disconnection. It is emotional distance, not conflict, that damages relationships and marriages. Disconnection occurs when one partner doesn’t see the other as reachable and responsive. This can create a pursuer withdrawer type of relationship where one partner brings up issues, problems and the other partner withdraws, shuts down to avoid conflict, believing they are keeping the relationship safe. I have helped many couples understand their cycle of disconnection, repair and heal from relationship injuries/trauma and connect again towards a deeper more fulfilling relationship.